


The Past Now The Future

by inkyfishes



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8984695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyfishes/pseuds/inkyfishes
Summary: [UPDATE: 20-MAR-17] Hey everyone! The absolutely amazing Langerhan has done a wonderful podfic of this work which you should definitely check out - link at the bottom of the fic!





	

**Author's Note:**

> [UPDATE: 20-MAR-17] Hey everyone! The absolutely amazing Langerhan has done a wonderful podfic of this work which you should definitely check out - link at the bottom of the fic!

Dirk is certain, and has always been certain, that time requires a map.

As a very young boy, he didn't map time. That was a mistake.

You see, time doesn't behave as the general consensus would have you believe. The malicious pervasive purveyors of the lie of a quantitative progression of seconds, minutes, hours (etc) are a conglomerate of clock manufacturers and digital watch entrepreneurs, focusing on making money with the incorrect assumption that time is some unpervertable forward force.

Time can, of course, fuck around a bit. That was especially obvious in the Facility. There, time would stretch or shrink happily. Playtime passed in the blink of an eye and mathematics lectures stretched out into aeons.

Yet, his tutors would point at clocks and insist to the young Icarus that _an hour was an hour_ and all that, which made him utterly frustrated because it simply wasn't true. And it was hard enough having to deal with the universe playing silly buggers without _time_ taking the piss as well.

So Icarus decided to take action. In dealing with the universe, he knew that it was important to focus on what was important. That was not the boring twenty-past fives or the seven-to-nines - No, no. The important parts were analogues to the fundamental requirements of a being in the universe. Namely: where you had been, where you were, where you were going.

For time, that was _when_ you had been, _when_  you were and _when_ you are going.

And Project Icarus could easily determine those with a map. Project Icarus' map was simple:

THE PAST -> THE NOW -> THE FUTURE 

It was both comforting and instructive, which the young boy greatly enjoyed. He would draw it on walls in chalk, scratch it into the dirt with sticks and make it out of twigs. 

It told him everything he needed to know, so he no longer bothered with clocks or digital watches.

If someone told him he was late, then he would reply that, according to his map, be was not late as that implied that he was in THE PAST, which wasn't possible because his map showed that he was clearly in THE NOW.

When he was early, he would reply that wasn't possible either, because according to his map he was not in THE FUTURE where 'early' was, as he was clearly in THE NOW, now.

After much explaining this, a lot of his tutors gave up on trying to have him look at clocks or digital watches and accepted him coming into class exactly when NOW was, which made Project Icarus' life a lot more fulfilling and happy. 

After a lot of things happened (the conglomerate of calendar connoisseurs would have people believe that 'years' had passed, which was impossible because Project Icarus had never even seen a year let alone let it pass by unnoticed), he found that the map had slightly changed. It now read:

THE PAST (Project Icarus) -> THE NOW (Svlad Cjelli)-> THE FUTURE

The new map was not too different, but implied a progression that Svlad Cjelli was not aware he had undertaken.

In fact, startlingly, he was not aware that he _was_ Svlad Cjelli until he noticed his map had changed to inform him so.

He noticed this change in his University accommodation, in the Halls of St Cedd's, after drawing the map in chalk on his wall. 

Of course, when Svlad was aware he was Svlad he was quite bloody happy, as it made applying for a driving licence easier.

A few years later, he found the map had changed yet again.

THE PAST (Project Icarus, Svlad Cjelli) -> THE NOW (Dirk Gently) -> THE FUTURE

At this point, Dirk Gently was not entirely pleased for this turn of events - due to aforementioned driving licence. However, he accepted the universe's whim with the general breeziness of someone used to such from the general fundamental interconnectedness of all things. If the universe had changed time so that THE NOW meant Dirk Gently, then the universe would have a reason for it.

And, of course, it did. Because Dirk Gently went to America and found an apartment, a case, a best friend and a cat which was also a shark.

But, during that case, something happened which had never happened before.

THE PAST became THE NOW.

Then, THE FUTURE became THE NOW.

THE NOW became THE PAST and THE PAST became THE FUTURE in quite an unsettling and improbable way.

And Dirk was _used_ to time cocking around, but not to such an extent. He accepted it immediately, unquestionably, openly - because the case demanded it, and he had to solve it, as the universe decided it needed to be so. But now, after the case, he's not finding himself adapting to it too well.

Dirk feels like a frog in a pot of jam: quite willing to accept a new life and a new way of being, but much preferring to be in a nice pond again thank you very much.

Jam here being "a reality in which THE PAST can be visited and THE FUTURE could become THE PAST" and a nice pond being "a linear progression of time" as Dirk has been familiar with up to that poi-

'Dirk?'

Todd is looking at him quite open-mouthedly from his position on his couch.

'Uh,' Todd says.

Dirk has learned that Todd often says this when he is without coherent things to say. So, Dirk takes the opportunity to get himself a glass of water from the kitchen. When he returns, Todd is looking oddly at the floor, which doesn't make much sense because the floor hasn't done anything odd (not to Dirk's knowledge anyway).

'Wow. I mean,' Todd says. 'I mean, I guess I shouldn't have just let you go on about that? I just asked why you wrote all that - that stuff on my wall...'

Todd motions to one of the walls of his flat, the left one (if you consider the window the main entry point, which Dirk does), which is the one now covered with speculative chalk.

Dirk had been trying to adjust his map in consideration of new events. However, the map did not want to be adjusted. Trying to doing so had resulted in weird squiggles in combinations and phrases which didn't fit.

It was like completing a jigsaw a piece at a time, without knowing the picture, nor the shape of the pieces, nor how big the puzzle was, nor whether there were any nice corner pieces to start on -

'Dirk, you're talking again.'

'I know! It's my mouth!'

'It just - it just sounds like you've gone mad. Just so you know. I'm not judging you if you have. It's been a long week.'

Dirk doesn't want tell Todd that he has obviously also been indoctrinated by the calendar cartel and so smiles at him instead.

Todd is looking at the chalk now, with less anger then he had originally when he had returned from shopping and seen Dirk's attempt at the new map all over his new wallpaper.

'You need this to feel... safe?' Todd says, carefully. Dirk doesn't do anything. 'So, if the previous map made you feel safe, and you usually only waited until the universe changed it, why are you trying to change it now?'

'Because - because THIS map,' Dirk says, pointing to the original map, his map, the one he currently held himself to that tells him he's not Project Icarus or Svlad Cjelli but _Dirk Gently_. 'Says I am in THE NOW whilst actually I could be in THE FUTURE and THE PAST! The map isn't right so how can I be sure where I am?' Dirk feels water rushing around his head. 'And if I get lost, how can I find my way back?' He's swimming, drowning, lost, lost... 'I don't know where I am Todd! I don't - I don't know - I need - I need -'

Then Todd is touching him. On his shoulder. Gripping him, hard. Dirk _feels_  it.

Dirk is suddenly aware of how hard his lungs are working, how difficult it is to breathe, of how sweaty he is. Of how full of tears his eyes are. He wipes them away on his shirt sleeve, feeling entirely lost to the universe.

'I don't want to leave now,' Dirk whispers. 'I _like_ now. I have friends. I - I have you.'

Todd isn't touching him anymore. It's horrible. It's cold and bad and makes Dirk close his eyes and cry a bit more.

Dirk hears a squeak of chalk. More squeaks of chalk. It could be a mouse. A chalky mouse?

He opens his eyes. There's no mouse, chalky or otherwise.

 _But_ _the map had changed_.

THE PAST (Project Icarus, Svlad Cjelli) -> THE NOW (Dirk Gently, with Todd Brotzman) -> THE FUTURE

'Does that... does that help?'

Todd is holding chalk, which is quite the coincidence considering what has just happened. He is also looking hopeful. He's looking a bit apprehensive too, but that's usual for Todd and can be factored out.

Dirk looks from the chalk to Todd and back to the chalk.

He finds himself grinning. 

Dirk Gently knows exactly when he is.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Past Now The Future](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376541) by [inkyfishes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyfishes/pseuds/inkyfishes), [Langerhan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Langerhan/pseuds/Langerhan)




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